good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
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I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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