Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
