I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
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does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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