i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
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