She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Boobs are out for the taking
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
