I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
