you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
A bitchslap is in order.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
