How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
