I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
