We're facebook friends in real life
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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