I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize