Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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