so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
