mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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