nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
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His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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