that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
