Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
