C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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