MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
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When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
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so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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