He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
