tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
