Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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