Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Found your dick twin last night
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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