The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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