I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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