she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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