i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
