It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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