Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
