Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
