I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
