Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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