I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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