this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
The beer is more important than you right now.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
