Rock
Scissors
Fuck
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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