I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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