I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
