We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
