whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
