she was so not down for the gang bang
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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