Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
