she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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