He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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