I am in a vortex of obligation.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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