There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
