didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
