someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
