I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
