I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
