Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
