Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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