playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
