This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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