Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
