At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
