Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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