Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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