You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
