I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I think your dad took our porno
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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