i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
