I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize