I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
