Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
