pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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